You stayed up late last night eating and drinking in blissful excess. You’re an interesting person after all. But the realization that you must return to the work trenches tomorrow smacked you square in the schnozz five minutes after last call. A close personal relationship with your snooze button in the morning is not a viable option. So what’s a Townie to do? These 5 Magical Tips for Going Back to Work After a Long Weekend may save your life, not to mention your job.

  1. Exercise the Demons – Whether your demon is that empty bottle of wine sitting on your bar, a not-so-gentle nudge to your overnight mystery guest ushering them out the front door, or the outrageous mixed flavors of the Goose Liver Pate, Pesto Tilapia, and Crème Brule that still reside in your mouth, you must find a way to function at work today. Get on the treadmill, hit the neighborhood running track, or Zumba your way into the living world. Cardio activity will reduce the “extent of the oxidative damage caused by ethanol,” according to Sports Med. Next time, moderate your ethanol.
  2. Water the Two-Lips – Water is the fundamental foundation to life. Right now, you are barely hanging onto yours. You’re starting from scratch. Build your foundation and flush leftover toxic byproducts created by overindulging. Underground Health Reporter warns against interpreting soda, tea, coffee, or sports drinks as water. Additional water will be required to flush the dehydration caused by these commercial drinks. So, grab your favorite environmentally unfriendly plastic container from the fridge or fill that now empty highball glass with H2O and guzzle like it’s 1999.
  3. Brown Baggin’ It – No, I’m not talking about putting a sack over your head even though you may feel a need to hide from the world today. Don’t go back to work and dive into a greasy helping of the Blue Plate special at your favorite food truck locale. Pack nutritional fare high in anti-oxidants and skip the inflammation-inducing hydrogenated oils, processed foods, and trans fats. Naturopathic Doctor Amy Neuzil, explains that proper metabolism is a good thing, but may be required to work overtime to rid your body from excess free radicals caused by excessive indulging. The good doctor lists Anti-Inflammatory and Pro-Inflammatory foods in a quick food guide found below.
  4. De-Stress for Success – You’ve donned your seersucker suit and fought your way through the rat race only to arrive at work just in time for that 9:00 a.m. mandatory meeting with the latest supervisor, what’s-his-name. Running behind schedule is the number one stressor at work. Fool your internal work clock by following a few simple guidelines: a) Leave your house earlier; b) Plan a balanced day and don’t over-commit yourself; and c) Take planned breaks away from your workspace. Simplify your day by cutting out the Indiana Jones act. The Holy Grail doesn’t have to be discovered today, nor will Bob in accounting find it before you.
  5. Sleepy in Seattle – Pretend for one moment that you don’t live in the Emerald City of the Pacific Northwest. You need sleep after the weekend you’ve accomplished. After putting your body and mind through one of your best memorable lack of memories, it is imperative that you begin the healing. Sleep repairs your heart (even the broken kind), brain function, hormone balance, and immune system. You cannot move through your week in a fog and catching proper shuteye is key to becoming human again. So for Rumpelstiltskin’s sake, take a nap.

A word to the wise is called for here. However, I’ve yet to be accused of proffering King Solomon-like advice. So if you want to paint the town red, kick up your heels, or generally run amok – GO AHEAD. Remember that paying the Piper need not cost you the price of your firstborn. Rumpelstiltskin may think otherwise.


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