Join Sherrie’s Always Write for this week’s Guest Post by Ima from LemonsLemonade.
“Don’t let the opinions of the average sway you. Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.” by Robert G. Allen
It sucks, doesn’t it?
It’s plenty of stress and it sucks.
There never seems to be a valid explanation for why it has to be so hard for one to achieve, most especially……when it’s very easy to do some counting on our fingers and toes (and still need some more) how many people have been able to attain those same heights.
It can be very frustrating, especially when you start to count the costs (and/or loss).
Your time invested, the money, the resources.
But why do things turn out this way anyway?
Why does it turn out to be extremely tough when we head out to achieve our set goals?
While there is no one specific answer, here are just a few of the biggest reasons I’d like to think are super important factors and what we can do about them.
Five Big Reasons You Can’t Seem To Achieve Those Goals
5. For most of us today, we have one general ideology that we carry around with us:
It is close to impossible to get to the highest of the high spots without having someone up there already, pulling some strings and pulling us up.
If you subscribe to this mentality, I can assure you that it becomes even tougher to achieve those goals.
You naturally and automatically become inclined to looking for this “Higher Grounds” Person.
You force yourself to believe your best bet is to cling to this source, consciously or unconsciously.
Your actions and your every move is aimed at owning this Person and residing at the place of good standing no matter the cost.
You put in more effort on this than even on the main objective.
Before I started this site, I thought I needed to operate on that line.
Not necessarily the big influencers but other friends I thought I would need to rely on.
Somewhere along the line, I realized how much I was sprinkling weakness over my strengths by thinking that was the best I could do for myself.
Because you know what, guys?
People aren’t seeing the dreams you’re seeing.
No one would be half as much in love with your passion as you.
Most of them won’t understand!
People will disappoint you.
You cannot afford to give yourself the permission to operate on such a low level.
And also because when for some reason this urgently needed, very important personality isn’t exactly at your reach, panic creeps in.
Bitterness and anger for how society is structured creeps in.
Desperation creeps in.
Depression creeps in.
It’s harder to not want to throw in the towel.
Now while there is a certain amount of advantage that comes with knowing a specific someone who knows a specific someone, that usually isn’t enough.
And because it usually isn’t enough, that isn’t the only staircase to getting up the ladder.
“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”
― Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
For no reason as insignificant as you not “knowing somebody” should you even consider yourself as anything close to not enough.
Let go of inferiority complex.
You have the potentials.
The probabilities of you achieving are right there.
You not having those connections doesn’t place you automatically in the failure category, believing not having the connection places you in that category, places you in that category.
That wasn’t too complicated, was it?
4. Lazy Lazy Lazy
Most of us are lazy.
Let’s admit it.
Hard work is a lot of hard work and sometimes we just feel so lazy.
We put in a bit of effort here, and we want to take a break equivalent to the amount of time we worked.
It’s hard to get things off the ground this way at the beginning stage.
Today’s world is busy.
Everybody has a sort of burden, an occupation of some sort, a family, relationships to manage, bills to cover, plenty to worry about, complex, noisy lives to live through.
Unless you are willing to sit on their faces (not literally), nobody (cancel) nobody worthwhile is going to notice your little butt.
It won’t be enough to want something, whatever it is.
You had to fight for it.
You have to chase it relentlessly.
You have to stalk it around.
Exactly! It’s why the gap between the Successful and the Unsuccessful is evident and fat.
If your aim is something that a lot of others around are equally aiming for, you can bet that nobody is going to just toss it to you.
And when I say you have to work and really work towards those goals, I’m not talking of working hard.
I’m talking working smart.
This even applies for the first reason listed above;
Sometimes those people we look at as having made it through connections weren’t all born with those connections as their Fathers and their Uncles.
They didn’t all suck up to somebody or play dirty or kiss someone’s butt to go up that ladder.
For a good number, it was smart work.
If you feel you need to hog on somebody else or wait till you get discovered, wait till you find that “Perfect Opportunity”, wait till someone looks your way with pity, you are only wasting the time.
Which leads to the next point ~
We have no competition outside of our dear selves.
Do you think you can remember that?
I hope so.
So when we come across opportunities to meet with others in our fields, the ones who’ve been in the game longer and yes, even the ones living our dreams, sweetheart network.
Networking is so powerful.
And it’s so unpredictable that’s what makes it extra powerful.
It could be as easy as being around the right people in the right circle at the right time.
Outcomes are endless.
It could spring up from rubbing minds with someone you never have before.
On its own, it’s a wonderful teacher, and it could be a unique source of fresh ideas, inspirations and partnership.
Now, would everyone want to network with you?
Is that your problem?
But like Drew Barrymore said:
“There’s something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself.
2. Follow This Path, And Then That Path
Try something new.
Most of us aren’t exactly excited with the idea of change.
Especially when we have found a spot that has come to become our comfort zone.
Even if it’s not gushing out rewards, a trickle comes in every now and then.
But we forget that if we choose to be satisfied with trickles that come in when we stumble on some luck, even though there is a possibility that that trickle could open up some more, it could also wind down.
And it winding down would be faster than opening up.
Try another approach.
Go the alternative way.
Think of a new method.
There is a chance nothing big pops up from it and there is a chance something really massive does.
It’s a chance worth taking.
Patience because sometimes, that’s all that’s missing from the equation.
We know countless of success stories that started off from literally nothing.
There is Tyler Perry, who had a rough time growing up, attempted suicide twice, failed miserably at his first Production and it wasn’t until six years later that he landed his first big break.
Six years people.
Listed in Forbes as highest paid Entertainer in 2011.
Not six months.
Not sixteen months.
How many have that much strength to keep going and keep fighting and keep giving so much for that much time?
People always have the question of how much patience one should keep before throwing in the towel.
Again, though Tyler Perry was carrying out odd jobs during that period of time for survival, he didn’t forget his dreams.
Talk about a balancing act.
Personally, I’d like to think you can’t exactly quantify how much of patience you should possess.
You can’t generalize it to cover all sort of situations.
You can’t say: “Everyone should pursue an idea or a passion for X number of years and if they don’t succeed, they’re better off dumping it aside and facing the real world”.
Unless your goal comes with a time limit attached naturally, don’t fix one yourself.
We can only meet Success if we’re patient enough for her to turn up.
Perseverance is key.
Gratitude for the little achievements is key.
Ima Asuquo is a young African blogger, freelancer, student, with an incessant love towards writing, good books, good music, personal growth, psychology, and facing every day she’s fortunate enough to see with every ounce of enthusiasm.
You may find Ima at LemonsLemonade blogging words of encouragement and beautiful sentiment. I have been blessed to follow her young journey and am a better person for it.
Thank you for sharing, Ima.
Read yesterday’s Thirsty Thursday Toasts for the Ages
Tune in next week for Manic Monday The Holidays are Looming – Warning: Personal Photos Enclosed
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September 17, 2016 at 7:04 am
Your article was even better than a bucket of cold water thrown over my face. Refreshing, insightful, and enough for me to wake up, smell the roses, and get my act together. The only way is up! Thank you for writing it. :0)
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September 17, 2016 at 7:37 am
Thanks to Ima at Lemons Lemonade. She’s awesome! Thank you for reading AlienatedNation.
September 17, 2016 at 12:45 am
Thank you so much for this opportunity Sherrie
It’s very much appreciated ☺
LikeLiked by 2 people
September 17, 2016 at 7:34 am
I am honored that you posted such an insightful article. Thanks again!!
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